No matter how many times i stood on this hill alone i never got used to the feeling of desolation that comes with it. But this time the feeling is accompanied by an overwhelming sense of helplessness as i watch the bitter tides of change sweep over me. Buddha said that change is the only thing that is constant in this world. To me, it simply means that nothing is going to be the same again. And i fear it so, uncertain of the things to come, knowing that i have no power to stop it. I have a battle to fight, a battle that is not even mine but am willing to fight for that weary warrior that has fought so hard all his life.

As i stand on this lonely hill and contemplate the future i cannot help but sense that a chapter in my life is coming to an end. This ending is long overdue. i have lived in suspended adolescence long enough. If this is to be my rite of passage to adulthood then so be it.

As seasons come and go i pray that Sorrow would also go. Sorrow is not a companion i would like to keep forever. Though Sorrow has proven to be a wise and effective teacher,it teaches its lessons in the wilderness of loneliness. Even now, as i come crying in the wilderness, Sorrow severely gives out its instructions as if i haven't had enough.

i have no one to talk to on this lonely hill...but as i prepare for the battle ahead i am comforted in knowing that i am not the only one who has ever stood on this hill alone. Only, i deserve it. He didn't. i realize i'm not really alone.